if we were having coffee birthmay may 2021 featured image

If We Were Having Coffee BirthMay 2021

Hello everyone! I have so much exciting news to share for BirthMay’s Coffee Chat!

Today, I’m having a cup of decaf coffee. Why? Because my mother bought a bag of ethically sourced decaf coffee and so I figured I should drink it. Do I want to drink decaf? Not really. But that’s what we have and there’s no point in letting it just sit there and go to waste! So I’m having decaf. Weird.

Oh! If you’re new here (newer than May 2020) you might be wondering, what’s BirthMay? Well, every year I blog every day in May because it is my birth month. I just figured it was something fun to do, and it has proven to be really enjoyable for me. This will be the fifth BirthMay on my blog! No matter how many BirthMays you’ve been through with me, thank you for being here this BirthMay and thank you for your support!

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, BirthMay planning was so fun this year! I feel like even though there aren’t travel posts to take up days or adventures around the city or anything, it was still nice to look at past years and gather inspiration. Oftentimes, I forget to update on things I’ve meant to update on, so BirthMay and Blogmas both end up being the perfect opportunities to do so.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, that I never really decided what I wanted to get myself for my birthday. Back in April’s coffee chat I mentioned that I didn’t really want “stuff” and as I continued to think about it, that rang more and more true. I did eventually decide that maybe what I would like to bring in would be something from a small business, preferably Hispanic owned. However, I soon realized that wouldn’t work out for me too well either. Most Hispanic owned brands I found were just things I wouldn’t wear or enjoy. I don’t want to say that the brands were pandering to there stereotypical Hispanic depiction but they did. It was big hoop earrings that I don’t wear, had giant lettering with Spanglish puns on shirts, or overly religious themes that just don’t fit my preferences. Or they were artisanal inspired items that I would rather buy in Mexico next time I go, and considering I haven’t bought them in the many trips I’ve taken over the past few years, I don’t think I would want them anyway. I did find some more luxury and neutral brands that are Hispanic owned that I strongly considered but then I realized that I don’t need another handbag, and so I skipped that too. So I never ended up getting myself anything from those brands but maybe I’ll share some of my favorites that I found here so that you can check them out if you want?

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, that I want to continue on another point that I started last coffee chat. I mentioned that I felt that the person I am now that I’m heading into my 30s is completely different from the person that I thought I would be. And I was sort of struggling with that change. However, simply putting that feeling into words was really powerful for me. I felt like I was able to reflect more on that once I’d written it down and I’m really embracing the change now instead of struggling with it. I think the more simple and thoughtful version of me that I’ve become is the person that I was meant to be all along instead of the more materialistic and attention-seeking version of me that I had been heading towards.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, that I’m so much closer to feeling safer in the world again! I got my first dose of the vaccine recently. I spoke about how I got the appointment in my April Life post so I won’t get into it again but I was so excited to finally get the vaccine. I can’t believe how it all worked out and I’m so looking forward to the second dose. I know that even then it’s not like 100% that I won’t get sick, but hey, I already feel that much safer!

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, that I finally, finally started to seriously budget my personal finances. Prior to the pandemic I had a loose plan of “don’t spend more than you earn”. That was a good plan in the sense that it worked but it didn’t give me much control over my spending. Then I lost my job and the plan became “spend as little as possible”. Again, it worked but I still struggled to really understand my spending habits. Now I created a highly customized budget spreadsheet for myself as the templates I found just weren’t working for me. I suspect I’ll have to do quite a bit more updates to the spreadsheet as time goes on but, as a huge spreadsheet nerd, I’m looking forward to it! So far it’s really been helpful to see my spending thus far in the year and see where I can cut back even more. I think my next step is to finally open a separate savings account so I can keep everything saved in a completely different area. I am planning a post about this, so I’ll include more details there!

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, that the job hunt is… over! I am employed again! I am starting my new job later this month! The role is fully remote and pays a bit more than my previous job did, which is so exciting! Literally, it seems like it has all of the positives and none of the negatives, although I will admit I’m bummed that there is no travel involved in this one. This job is in education (no, I’m not a teacher though!) and I’m thrilled to be in a field that I’m so passionate about. I really had a great interview experience and I’m so, so grateful to the person who referred me to the role. I couldn’t have possibly found the role without them and I’m so excited to start.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, how I’m decluttering still! I have so much stuff that it is just an endless cycle of me getting fed up and tossing out a small mountain of things. This time around, I have an overflowing box of clothing that I don’t want or need any more, some decor pieces, candles, and so much random stuff. I still haven’t even gone through half of my stuff so I’m excited to get rid of a bit more as time goes on. My priority going forward is to not buy more stuff (naturally) and also read more of my own books. I have so many books that I own because I do genuinely want to read them, but once I read them I don’t think I’d keep them, so I want to be able to go sell them at Half Price Books soon. I may chose to just sell them anyway and then get the book later from the library when I’m ready to read them though. Who knows!

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, that since I’m fully employed with a fully remote job now, I’m still considering moving to Texas. I love living with my parents and having super low bills and all, but I just can’t make it through another midwestern winter mentally! I had sort of hoped that I’d get a job in Texas to “force” myself to move, really just to have a deadline to do so, but since that hasn’t happened, now I worry that I’ll be too flexible and lax about it. I do think the best thing to do for now is to stay put while I get used to my new job, save up a bit more, pay my student loans down a bit more, and then plan to move. Hopefully in early fall? Who knows! (Please future me, don’t put yourself through another Chicago winter though, pleaseeeeeee!)

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, about my final update for my Year 29 goal, live with intention. I’m so, so sad to see this one go. I had such a different vision for this goal and I do feel like it just didn’t get the chance to live up to it’s potential. But I’ll talk more on that in a later post this BirthMay. I still have a few days with this goal so I want to focus on it and making sure that everything I’m doing has a clear intention as I say goodbye to this goal.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you, about my 2021 goal, positivity. I think at times I’ve found it tough to hold onto this goal but even in the hardest times to do so, I’ve managed to remind myself to stay positive. And it’s worked! I do think that everything that is looking up for me is a result of my positive mindset, and I’m so, so happy I stuck with it even during the hardest times.

So that’s what I’d share with you if we were having coffee this month! I think my job update is the most exciting, personally. But what would you share with me if we were having coffee?

Thanks for reading!


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  1. I loved reading this because i felt like i was catching up with an old friend if we were having coffee i would tell you that I’m a bit impatient yet anxious about leaving school and really stepping into the world

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw I love that you felt that way because that’s how I feel when I write these posts! I do imagine that I’m catching up with a dear friend and am always excited to share what’s going on. And If we were having coffee I’d reassure you that the feeling you have is completely valid and normal! I think that leaving your comfort zone is always a little uncomfortable and exciting at the same time. I think the key is to take it one step at a time and keep a positive outlook!

      Liked by 1 person

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